George to the Rescue!

So I've made up me mind that humans are bonkers. How I arrived at this:

So I's mindin me own business and I hear running water. 'Oh no' I says to me self. I run up the stairs and find me mum getting into the bath and INTO THE WATER! Any self respectin cat in his right mind would never do a fing like that. I meow, "Mum! What are you doing?!" And put me paws on the edge of the bath. And all she does is start making human sounds at me. Oh why doesn't she speak cat already?! I've been here 6 days- she should be fluent by now!

So's I keep meowing that I want to help her and she just keep standing in the water. I jump on to the tub and try to talk her out but she does nuffink. I pace between the bath curtains, worrying me self silly. What was she finkin gettin in the water? I peeks around the curtain by the sink and gets me face all wet and jump away into the sink and back to the floor. (Mind you, I'm still yellin at her the whole time, lecturin her on the dangers of water, especially runnin water.) I jump back on to the back of the tub to try and coax her out. But she's got her head under the water so nows I have to take drastic measures. I slide down into the tub, meowing my displeasure the entire way. So now I'm on the verge of bein in the water me self, still meowing "Why are you still in the water? Have you heard a single bloody thing I've said?!" And that's when the water got me! I scrambled back outta the tub and try to dry me self off. By now, I'm ready to call it quits but I give it one more go and jump up and sit me self between the curtains again. I try boppin her frew the curtain but she just pokes back at me. I bop her again, and again she pokes back.

So's I says to me self- "That's it. I'm frowin in the towel. I've tried me best but she don't wanna listen." And I sits me self on the loo and wait to see if she ever comes out again alive... (I's really hopin she would or I'd have no one to feed me or pet me or dangle me favorite fishin pole)

And that is why human are bonkers. Standing for hours and hours under runnin water, never having a care for a cat's worryin.

PS- Mum made it out alright, jus in case you were worried too.