The Weekend!

Me dad is home! ME mum left Saturday afternoon and when she came back, she brought me dad home! Nows I have me two people back to play with me!

And then on Sunday, me parents went to some big party about it being July 4th, must be an American fing.. and they broughts me back a puppy! He's this wonderful little stuffed chap who I can beat up and bite and run around with in me mouth! He's marvelous!

I love me American parents!

Payback...

So's I'm slowly getting payback against Mum for me surgery...

What she didn't know 'til today was I've been whizzing in her luggage she left open on the floor.
Extra points for me self were scored due to the fact that she still had clothes in it! She spent a good 15 or 20 just trying to scrub the thing!

Serves her right for choppin' off me parts and stuffin' papery stuff in me litter box. At least now she's put some stuff worth diggin' in in it!

Back to Me Usual Self

Well I'm back to me usual self... almost

I'm still sleepin' a lot but I'm back to sneak attackin' Mum when I pretends to be all sweet and cute.

She gets mad every time I try to bathe what's left o' me pride. She even went so far as to put a cone 'round me neck. I sure showed her though. I was knockin' into all sorts of stuff keepin' her awakes. And then I was smart enough to get it off all by me self!

The only problem is that she put this funny shredded stuff in me litter box. She took out the stuff that's fun to dig in and kick all 'round the bath and put in shredded papery bits and even I fink the bath smells funny now.

Time to 'cause more trouble!

The Hangover

Mum went and did it! She dragged me to the vet early this morning and before I knows it, me precious gems are gone! The blasted woman had me neutered! As If it's not enough to keep me cooped inside away from all the fun stuff, she goes and does this! Bah... And now I feels like I spent all night at the pub. I'm stumblin' round the house. I keep passin' out and wakin' up in different places- first the carrier, then the kitchen, then next to the table, then the front door mat... And to add insult to me injury, I peed me self whiles I was still sleepin' in me carrier. And if I start to clean me self back there, Doc told mum to stick this bloody plastic cone on me neck... When is Dad going to come home and rescue me??

A Mum Popsicle?

Why am I licking me mum's trousers? you ask.

Perhaps powdered sugar? Milk? Bug juice?

Mum may never know....

Summer!

What do I love about summer?

BUGS!

I rather fancy eating the little buggers that fly in the open windows. Flies, beetles, gnats, moths. All taste grand to me! Sometimes me mum gets to 'em first and chucks em or let's them back out but not every time!

So there's good things and not so good things bout me mum bein home.

Good Things:
1- I love me mum so I'm always happy to see her
2- She gives me milk to drink
3- She brought home a fantastic leather string for me and I run round the house carryin' it in me mouth

Not So Good Things:
1- She doesn't fancy getting outta bed at 5am so she shuts me in me travel carrier when I tries to get her up to play!
2- Unlike me dad, she does not let me outside at all
3- She doesn't fight with me like me dad does so's every time I try to, I gets bopped on the head

I wonder when me dad is comin' home...

I'm confused.

So's it was me and mum and dad.

Then it was me and mum.

Then, just me.

But then dad came back and it was me and him.

And then mum came back and we were all here again!

But now, it's just me and mum again.

The Front Door!

Me mum will be so proud of me when she returns! I have taught me self how to open the front door!

I tried to show me dad but he had fallen asleep on me couch while watching the picture box. And then when I opens it, the wind goes all crazies and blows it open to bits! I jump on me dad cause I was scared and accidentally scared him back and he frew me across the room! Oops, Sorry Dad!

I still can't to show Mum :)

Revenge...

So I'm not too happy with me dad for two reasons:

1- He says I'm smelly and sprayed me with this awful Febreeze stuff.

2- He dragged me to this awful place where they took me temperature in me bum and then stuck me with sharp things- aka The Vet

A Tomcat's Revenge???

I pooped in me dad's backseat on the way home because the chap didn't put me in me travel carrier :)

Mum sent me gifts!

So me mum sent me dad and me gifts by post from the states!

Dad got this little metal flat box thing that makes noise- an iPod?

But me own gifts from mum are much better! She sent a fabulous brush for dad to brush me down every night and every morning. She also sent this little plastic fing that sweeps up cat hair off the furniture and off of ME! Though I don't s'pose it was intended to sweep me, it's like a lovely massage. So now me dad is trained to brush me down and sweep me down every morning and every evening when I jumps in his lap. I let Mum see how much I love 'em when she talks to dad in the box every night. (Dad calls it "Skype". I guess its anoffer one of those silly American fings.)

I talks to me mum on this Skype too! I see her in the box and I meow and squeak at her and she talks right back! I tell her how dad wouldn't let me out to play with the girl cat who lives next door and how he doesn't give me milk every mornin' like she does. And I tell her I miss and she needs to come home to play with me. I do get lonely all day by me self when dad's at work.

He's Home!

So I was sittin round me house all by me self this week except for the lady who acme by to makes sure I had food. I got into lotsa mischief without me mum there to say "No!" I knocked over all the soap bottles into the bath and wrestled with the bath rugs. I rolled all over me mum and dad's bed, making it nice and hairy which I know me dad loves! And I knocked over me mum's picture frames downstairs. Serves her right for leavin' me all alone!

But now me dad is back and boy am I happy to see him! I let him pet me and brush me and sat with him while he talked to mum on the computer. I still haven't figure out how me mum got into that little box... I was still happy to see me dad and wanted to play but he kept tryin to sleep so I'd jump on his head to wake him up or stomp all over him. That's what he gets for sleepin' on me couch.

I'm so happy to see me dad :)

Sad George

Me mum keeps kissin and huggin on me and tellin me she loves me.

The entire house in clean and she's washed everthin in that big metal contraption in the kitchen that you could possibly wash.

There's a big silver bag in the extra room and she keeps puttin stuff in it and there stuff on the dining table next to her hand bag, all lined up to go in it or somefing.

I fink she's goin away for a bit ...

I'm gonna miss me mum :(

Milk!

Mum gives me that last bit of her cereal milk every morning!

Sometimes I drink it all at once.

Sometimes I saves it and drinks it a little here, and a little there.

But mum leaves for a bit tomorrow so no more milk :(

I'm a black furry ball o' trouble!

Now that me dad has run off somewheres for this job and it's just me and mum in the house, I am havin' all sorts of fun!

I start of with nibblin' mum's eyebrow early in the morning so's she can feed me right on schedule like me dad does.
Then I run around like mad and knock everything over that's in my way.
I've knocked almost all the soap bottles in the bath tub. I love the bumps and booms it makes when I do that!
I have chased mum's feet every time she's on the stair.
And I keep playin on the boxes by the stair, and messing with every thing me dad left lying around.
It's so much fun!

But I do miss me dad. His arms and hands are more fun to bite that mum.

Nibble Nibble.... CHOMP

Today, I'm pretending me mum's arm is an ear of corn.

I grab it with both me paws, and nibble up and down until I get a really good spot and then...

chomp chomp chomp CHOMPCHOMPCHOMP CHOMPPPPPPPP

How to Make Mum Mad

I have a favorite new way to make me mum (and dad) mad.

I like to knock over glasses filled with water!

First I check to see if there's anyfing in the glass. Then I dips me paw in it. And then... WHAM! I knock it with me paw and watch the water spill out and soak everything around it.

It's such fun that I did it twice last night! First I did it on the dining table and then I did it on the end table! I hope Mum leaves her water glass for me to knock over some more tonight!

She shot me.... TWICE!

Mum took me to the vet today...

There were these two HUGE staffies and a wee yorkie and a lab pup. I coulda taken the last two...

But she gets me back in the room and lets me outta me travel carrier and I gets to explorin'. Found out I weigh 9.8 pounds... It's all muscle, I swear!

But then the vet woman stuck me with a needle and I wasn't the least bit happy! And mum was holdin' me down! I couldn't go nowhere! So I twisted and the liquid stuff shot through a second hole and I thought I was home free. But the lady just shot me AGAIN! I hate injections! And to top it off, I had to swallow this icky yellow stuff, for worms... like a handsome Tom like meself would have worms!

Me mum's such a traitor...

Almost Free!

So's yesterday morning, after making breakfast, me dad left the kitchen window titled open. (For you Americans, the windows open differently: you can swing them open kinda like a door, or for those with sneaky little Toms like me self, you can tilt it in so's its open about 4 to 5 inches at the top.) And I sees me opportunity to escape! I jump on the kitchen counter, knockin' a few fings outta me way. And then....I spring!

mmmmrrrrrrrrrOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW! That hurt!

I underestimated me jump and got lodged between the window and the frame with me back-end still inside and me front half danglin' out the dinow! I just yowled and me mum and dad came runnin' to free me. I was so ashamed- my one easy shot and I missed it! Mum lifted me up and cuddled and cooed at me, trying to sooth me poor achin' ribs though it was me pride she shoulda been soothin'. Of course, me dad shuts the window then and all hopes of escape were dashed.

One of these days, I'll get out..

New Photos

Snoozin' Spots

So being a cat and lovin' to catnap, I thought I'd list my favorite snoozin' spots.

1. Current top spot: smack dab in the middle of mum's dining table

2. Middle of the living room floor

3. Bathroom Sink 'cause I fit perfectly

4. Dad's Feet (when he's in bed of course)

5. Top of the stairs so's I can watch for opportunities to dash out the front door!

6. Bath mat while me mum takes a shower-
Can't let her sneak by me! or in case she needs to be rescued!

7. Me mum and dad's bed when they leave it open and no one is around

They Covered Me Window!

So me present aka the new couch was pretty awesome until they went and covered me big window! They put up these long, horrible dangly bits of fabric- mum calls them curtains. But now's I can't watch every thing in me front yard!

First they won't lemme outside. Second, they start givin' me baths. And now they've covered me window! What are they gonna do next? Neuter me?!

Well, at least Mum has giving me a peep hole.

Grumble grumble...

So Mum put a pink bow on me neck this mornin'.

It's 9:16pm and the bloody bow is still there.

I'm not on speaking terms with Mum 'til she removes it...

Blasted Mouse

So I walks by the table that the computer/telly is on; mum and dad use the telly as a computer screen. And this little white fing catches me eye. It's dartin here and there and everywhere across the screen, and I'm finking, "Man, that bloody thing must be drivin' Mum nuts!" So I jumps up on the table with every intention of catchin' the little bugga. But I can't! The little fing is too quick! Every single time I go to knock it with paw, it just slips away and goes movin' off in another direction! I tried and tried but had to give up. It's just impossible to catch that blasted li'l fing.

Sorry, Mum. I tried to help.

Catnapping

Catnapping is one o' me all time faves.

No, not burgling a place and sneakin off with the resident cat...

I fink if I had to be a professional of somefing, it would be catnapping

I can sleep just about anywhere, anytime... or maybe that's a male fing 'cause me mum says me dad does the same fing...

I can sleeps on the dinner table, in a chair, on the floor, on the couch, in the bathtub or the sink, on the bed or under the bed, in me travel carrier. Me mum also likes to laugh at me when I sleep in funny poses like all curled up with me head upside down or on me back with all me paws open and me belly exposed for ticklin... grrr I hate when she walks by and sticks me in the belly with her toes.. but I always get me revenge on them wiggly bit when she falls asleep at night muahahahaa.. ahem, I mean, I'm a sweet li'l Tom who never holds a grudge.

More catnapping shall ensue

A Present Just For Moi!

So's about 9am this mornin, there's a knock on me front door. Two blokes in a truck have arrived with a GINORMOUS package. It was big and blue and covered in this fantastic plastic bubble stuff! I thought that was great on its own- I coulda had fun all day with it.

But then mum unwraps it and VOILA! I have me own big red comfy couch! It's so cushy and comfy and it came with some lovely pillows, too. I can just leans me self up against the arm rest and let me front paws dangle a bit over the edge. Or I can curl up in a little ball on the middle cushion or stretch out and take up the whole thing! I can even sit on the armrest or the back of the couch and look at the window. No straining me neck or standin on me hind paws no more! I can just lay all lazy on the couch and observe me yard and chirp at the birdies who dare to land on me lawn!

But the best part of having me own couch- I can share it with mum and then curl up right next to her and have 'Mummy and George Time'. She gives me the bestest presents, me mum does.

I'm a Scaredy Cat

2nd Post in One Day! I'm feelin ambitious...

So's I'm a completely scaredy cat in two ways.

#1 - The Vacuum
Mum decided to vacuum upstairs and the stairs themselves. Of course as soon as she turns the bloody thing on, I freaked out! I'm pretty sure this giant black vrooming monster will suck me right up and I will be George no more. So's I run down the stairs, fru the livin' room and hide behind the wash machine until mum comes and rescues me... pathetic, I know.

#2- Outside
So's I been writing bout me escapades where I sneaks past mum or dad and bolt out the door, right? Well... mum decided it was a beautiful day and that I should go outside. I says to meself, "George, what's the catch?" It was a cat leash ! So's she puts it on and it feels all weird and of course, I don't budge. I'm a respectable Tom, I says, and won't do it! Well, she opens the backdoor and the fresh air gets the better of me. I steps onto the patio and starts sniffin away. But then I sees one of the dreaded giant pigeons land in a nearby tree and I hopes it doesn't carry me away and then some strange human comes runnin through the backyard on the pavement and the wind starts blowing hard and ITS JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME! I scrambled at the door and mum reads me mind and opens it to let me back in the house. It was just too scary- just couldn't handle it all.

So there- I am an official scaredy cat and will remain a house cat. I will have to content myself to sleepin all day and runnin through the house when I feels of bit o' wildness come over me.



PS for you American folks, pavement = sidewalk

CHOMP

I love to bite human paws! Or at least what they call feet.

They have these little pink wiglet bits called "toes" and they are wonderful to just up and nibble. Example: mum and dad laying in bed with their feet peeping out. CHOMP right on the fleshy bit of dad's little toe. And he pushes me away. Like that's gonna stop me! CHOMP right on the end of his big toe! Now that one's fun to bite. But he pushes me again so I decides to go after mum's foot that's peeping out, just waitin to be pounced on. I sneaks over and CHOMP on the place where he foot arches- tis a great spot though it's hard to sink me teeth into so I have to CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP trying to really get a hold. 'Course then she pulls her foot back under the blankets and I'm left with nuffing to nibble... but there's always tomorrow night

My paws fit but me head gets stuck!

So there's this little rectangular slot in me front door...

I watch envelopes and things get pushed through some mornings..and I didn't understand how it worked..

But then mum showed me its a little door to outside!

So nows I can stand on me back legs and and open it with me front paws and push me face under the little flap, but I can't go no farther! Me head keeps getting stuck. It's a bloody tease! I can feel the cool, fresh breeze on me paws and smell it with my little nose but can't get through the slot! I even tried using me back paws to climb up and force me head through the slot but me heads just too big!

I just want to go outside :( though I have managed to sneak past dad twice in two days..

I don't fink I'm 'posed to mess with the blinds...

I don't fink I'm 'posed to mess with the blinds...

I was trying to get the buggas open last night after me mum and dad went to bed. But I'm not quite tall enough to peak out of em.. so's I just keep battin at the bottom of 'em.

But dad came down stairs and told me "no", then mum came down and bopped me and told me "no" and then dad came back down, splashed me with a cup'a'cold water, told me "no" and then took me back up stairs to jail me in me travel carrier again. I really didn't fancy the water being poured on me and I think dad knew it before he done it.

If he pours water on me again, may be I shouldn't keep playin in the window blinds..
I hopes he doesn't do it again.

♦Birthday Present

I am utterly exhausted today.

Yesterday was me mum's birthday so I took it upon meself to be good, seeing as I was her first birthday present. I found meself being called "Birthday Present Number 1" instead of George, Georgie, or Ee-ee all day yesterday. (Ee-ee is me mum's pet name for me in regards to me rather pitiful meow- or at least she and me dad think so.)

I did my duty in the form of sittin on her lap multiple times through out the day. I helped her wash her face and her hands. I let dad alone while he caught up on sleep. I did not rattle the blinds incessantly and I kept quiet all last night so's they could both sleep.

Me only small bit of mischief was finishin dad's bowl of cottage cheese he left on the table and only slightly pawing at the blinds so's one of them would open em so's I could see outside(dad closed them before they left the house for dinner). Oh, and I might have escaped out the door for a brief moment went they got back.. but dad sneak attacked me and grabbed me up before I's could run off. Other than that, I thought meself to be on me best behavior.

See what a good birthday present I was??

My Favorite Things Around the House

1. the pendulum on mum's clock
2. any bowl or cup left in the sink and filled with water!
3. the zipper pull on mum's jacket
4. empty TP roll
5. the sleeping bag
6. the pull and twisty-open thingies on the window blinds
7. hair bands- any color- I'm not picky
8. The Loo- my favorite room in the entire house!
9. the look-out tower mum and dad rigged so's I can see out the front window

Backwards and Upside-down

So's everythin has gone all off this week. How so??

Dad's leavin for work when he's supposed to be coming back to play with me. He comes back when Mum wakes up and sleeps all day like I do. And then when I'm bout ready to play, he leaves again!

At least we agree on whens the proper time to sleep and be awake but he should be awake at home so's he can play with me. And mum of course. She seems a bit lonely at night after dad leaves. So I's curl up with her while she reads in bed, and then I starts messing around with things once she turns off the lights.

I hope things get back to normal soon.

Jail time again... plus recent developments

So's I gots jailed again last night for fiddlin with the blinds.

I's just wantin to see outside- all kindsa good things come outside at night and I wanted to watch. So I start pawing at em and trying to swing em away from the window so's to get up underneath and take a peak. And then on the back window, I just bent a pawful of em outta place so's I didn't have to swat them so much. And then I remembered me travel carrier was under mum and dads bedroom window! So's I run up and scratch and meow to be let in the room, which always wakes me mum up, and as soon as she lets me in, I go straight to the window. I jumps up on the carrier and proceed to whack at the bottom of the blinds trying to get em moved so's I can takes a look out back. Then mum chucks me back out. After several repeat attempts, dad decides to put me in my travel carrier in spare room! I only wanted to see outside. And no matter how  much I meowed and cried and complained, they couldn't hear me. They just kept sleepin away...

Another update: mum and dad went shopping on Saturday and came back with a bright red collar with a bell! Talk about annoying! I can't move without it ringin and mum and dad can always find me now! I miss being able to sneak attack em at night when its all dark. Bloody bell..

Update no. 3: dad will be home during the day this week and has already encroached on me time with mum. In stead of ME cuddlin with her this mornin, ME wakin her up- instead of her feeding ME first and playing and petting and kissin on ME this morning- DAD gets all the bloody attention. When do I get time with just me self and mum???

Update no. 4: They looked at me this morning, sniffed me, and mentioned the words "smelly", "stinks", "ilgh", and "bath today"... this can't be good.

They did it again...

They did it again...

They bathed me! What did I do??

According to me dad, I smelled "bad" yesterday morning before he left for work.

He then proceeded to declare I was gettin a bath before they cleaned the loo.

So for a second time, I was soaked, scrubbed, soaked again, and wrung out before I was plunked into a nice warm towel. Dad even went as far as getting mum to take embarrassing pictures of me all wet and scrawny lookin.

At least the towel was warm. Thank you mum!

On a brighter note, the suns is shinin this mornin and mum's opened the blinds and put chairs under the windows so's I can looks out :)

George + Water = Happy George

So I mighta changed me tune about water. 

(Cept very big running waters cause that's still horrible, horrible stuff!)

I love playing in me water bowls and splashin water all over the kitchen floor or the hall carpet!

(Mum is nice enough to give me two water bowls <3 )

If the loo seat is left up, I like to get in it and drink or just dip me paws.

Dad never completely shuts off the faucet after he showers so I play with the little trickle that's left running.

Anythin left in the kitchen sink filled with water is fair play.

And I just love runnin' around in a wet bath!

And of course all these things mean that I always have cold, wet paws to stick on mum when she picks me up! Or to help wake her up in the mornin and leave wet paw prints on her sheets.

 So's long as I'm not the one gettin a bath, water ain't so bad.

Things I Love to Attack

1. Red Hair band that I stole from me mum
2. Mum's shoelaces while she's trying to tie 'em
3. Dad's feet while he walks by the bed
4. Running water- I can't quite catch it, it just slips threw me toes
5. My blue or green fish
6. The laser pointer - I'll get that little bigger one day
7. The sleepin bag tying up strings
8. Me tail
9. Dad's rolled up ABU socks
10. Me jingle ball
11. Mum and dad's arms or feet when they's'a hangin off the bed
12. Dad when he's kissin' on me mum - I needs attention too
13. Pens, pencils, anythin of that sort
14. The front door mat - it doesn't move or anythin, but it still scream "come and get me!"
15. The hanger dad left downstairs one mornin last week

At this moment, mum is sittin in what you American's call "Indian style" and I am attackin her toes. To do this I must dive under her knee and attack them like mad before she swats me away or tosses me at Dad. And then I start all over again! What a way to finish me day.

♦Payback

So me mum and dad left me home all by me self on Saturday- no one to play with or pet me. No laps to sleep on, no hands or feet to attack. No one to toss me fishin pole or scratch behind me ears. It was just plain boring. They goes out and have a jolly time in London for the ENTIRE day and I'm stuck at home.

Well, I could tell they were really tired when they got home so I let them sleep and recuperate most of yesterday. They were at least nice enough to feed me when they got home Saturday. But last night, I thought I'd have a little fun with em.

Of course dad slept through the whole thing, but I sure got mum good. I kept gettin up on the dining table and the kitchen counters and knocking stuffs around. Making stuff clank together n all. And mum would come rushin down to sees if I's broken anyfin. Of course I wasn't mad enough to break any of it, I'm not that daft. Mum would skin me! (or at least lock me in a travel carrier again, cept she'd put me in anuver room so's me meowing wouldn't keep her and dad up) I finally gave that a rest  cause I figured I could do it again in the mornin.

So that's what I been doin all day. Well, dad woke her up before I could so I's had to get her back loads of different ways. I been chasing her feet while she walks, trying to trip her. I been up on the counters and the table, making her chase me off. I been running around like mad after the hair band that I stole, jumpin in'n'out o' the laundry basket. Tried jumping in the wash machine but she swatted me off. And I been attacking her hands and arms and got my claw hooked nice and deep in the fleshy bits on one o' her fingers.

But now I fink its nap time and so's I will continue my payback later.

Bath Problem Solved!

The past few nights I've decided to give me mum and dad a break and not pester them all night. What brought this on? See the previous post involving a certain black cat, a bottle of kitty shampoo, and lots and lots of water....

The event that brought on said bath was that during one of my midnight escapades in the water closet, mum gave me a rub down and mumbled something along the lines of "ilgh, george, you smell like cat... stinky, male cat" and I finks, "Well, wot do you expect?" Then the next evening, I get aforementioned bath.

So being the intelligent feline that I am, I decided that if I don't wake her up, and she doesn't rub me down, and she doesn't sniff her paws and declare I smell like "stinky, male cat" then I can avoid all future baths! See? I'm brilliant! Genius, in fact.

How to avoid baths: Solved.
How to open the front door: Solution still in progress.

Oh the shame!

I's just mindin me own business, watchin the faucet drip, waitin for dad to get done in the bath so's he can play with me s'more... then when I wasn't looking-

They scooped me up and plunked me in the tub and SOAKED me from tail to toe, while holdin me down against me will! Doesn't a cat get a say in any of this?? I says to me self.

Then they soaped me, TWICE, scrubbin me all over, including me unmentionables...

And then soaked me again! At this point I'm sure I looks like a drowned rat and they've been laughing at me own expense this whole time. So's I've given up by now cause I'm no match for dad and the waters pretty warm so at least I'm not freezin me parts off.

And as mum scoops me up in a towel, I watch the last bit of me dignity wash down the drain with the soap suds..

I can't imagine me evenin gettin any worse. Now I must bathe me self proper... and plot up some plan to get me revenge tonight when they goes to sleep...